Smell The Whales!

I recently saw an article regarding a boy that discovered a mound of Whale Vomit that has been valued at an estimation of $60,000…

I’ll say that again: Whale Vomit?! $60,000!? …found?!

I started to think…

How did he know this was Whale Vomit? Why would he know it’s Whale Vomit? And what makes Whale Vomit so special to valued so high?! (By the way, Whale Vomit is now going to be the name of my new metal band).

As I read further I discovered that these “Bilious Deposits” (Album name), are used in the manufacturing of women’s make-up.

This is no surprise, as most are aware of the fact that we have used many other parts of whales to produce vanity products in the past. But the bumper sticker mindset of the 80’s and 90’s all but “put an end” to that vicious and inhumane industry *cough, (Right!)

As I was saying earlier, what is so special about Whale Vomit? What makes it better than Human Vomit? (punk band name?)

Why hasn’t the fashion industry used Human Vomit. It is undoubtedly prevalent.  What with all of the models purging after every meal. Heck, practically after every bottle of water! Is it too diluted, maybe? I’m not an expert. But I do know that most fashion industry types, including models, eventually set their sights on their own line of make-up and perfume fragrances. It seems like a logical combination. Each fragrance could be modeled after the lunch or dinner that they ate! There is some real potential here…

I can see the product names now! Starting with….

Purge, by Raaalph! Lauren


About chrysanthemummy

My apprehension and skepticism are a defense mechanism I have learned to embrace in order to navigate the absurdity of life. (this will be updated as soon as I think of an alternative way to describe myself). Oh! I like star wars...
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